Address the Stress

Your health dictates so much in your life: your performance level at work, whether or not you make it to the gym that day or even if you get out of bed. So if something has that great of an influence in our lives, wouldn’t it only make sense to make every effort to protect and preserve it?

            Every single day we are exposed to hundreds of stressors.  Stress comes from external circumstances like when you watch your bank account dwindle after paying this month’s bills or that pile of clothes that just won’t fold itself no matter how many Harry Potter-esque spells you cast upon it. Stress also comes from internal factors like when your mind keeps telling you the blog you’re writing is unbelievably trivial and to toss it in the trash. Both forms of stress can be harmful to your mental and physical self and if not released, will manifest in less obvious ways.

            Stress is a form of energy and as we’ve been taught since we were very young, energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred.  For sake of this article we’ll refer to the transference of stress as “stress release”.  If we do not give our stress a release then its only option is to remain trapped.  This then creates a “fight or flight” response within our bodies and we do one of two things: 1) resist the stress with even more stress and produce and agitated demeanor or 2) have a complete meltdown and kick and scream until the problem fixes itself.  In either case we’re still left with the problem at hand and need to find a solution, or a release. 

            I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a gastrointestinal disease, in 2008 and ever since then I’ve been forced to really redirect some things in my life in order to have less stress. See, my disease THRIVES off of stress, it’s the heart and soul of my condition but with the help of some truly amazing doctors/drugs and a lot of personal growth I was declared “in remission” as of December 2012! Interestingly enough, it wasn’t at this point that I saw just how drastically stress affected my life but more recently, namely around the time of my wedding.

            Yeah yeah yeah, every woman stresses when the “Big Day” approaches, trust me, I’m not about to give you a laundry list of the problems I ran into, you’ve heard it all before. It was how my body reacted to the stress that was shocking to me. By this time I was in remission for about 7 months. Usually when I would run into stress I would go into a “flare up” and the ulcers would begin to form.  This would pretty much ensure that I would be in uncomfortable pain for at least the next 6 weeks until we got my flare up “under control”.  The ulcers/flare up was my body’s form of stress release but now that I am on a stellar infusion medication called Remicade I simply do not have this reaction anymore. 

            When my schedule began to fill up between work, the gym, meeting with vendors and making my own decorations I decided that the best way to handle my stress was to manage my time better.  In theory, this was an excellent revelation. However, in hindsight the execution was embarrassingly poor. I decided that I needed to devote any extra time not spent at work to our wedding plans which meant that there was no time for the gym. I successfully chose to surround myself with stress and took out the only form of release in my life, working out.

            In the weeks approaching the wedding I broke out in hives THREE times, one being only an hour before my bridal shower. My immune system was completely shot from the stress, I was sick with a cough, sore throat and fever that started exactly one month before our wedding and didn’t improve for another 6 weeks prior to our day.  And to top it all off, I couldn’t zip my wedding dress! That was the moment that I broke down. I considered just living off of coffee and air until after the ceremony but seeing as this could possibly result in death I contacted my coach instead.  He advised me on how to safely reduce my water retention so that I could at the very least zip the dress. Which is exactly what happened. I was able to zip the dress and only that. And it looked a little something like this……….

…..the struggle was real.

What was the most shocking part of this all?

The next morning, in a desperate attempt to relive the most beautiful night of our lives I slipped on my dress just one more time. I didn’t know when I would ever have the chance again so even though it was going to be a bit of a struggle, it would be worth it. Wait what? What was that? The dress is already zipped?! Oh yes it was! And just a wee bit loose I might add! But what had changed? Not my time in the gym, obviously and certainly not my diet because I was eating my own weight in boudin balls. (For those of you who have never had boudin, I warn you, do not start now. It will be your demise.  Its components will disturb you but the taste. Oh my. Out. Of. This. World.) So naturally I allowed myself as many as I wanted because calories don’t count on your wedding anyway, right? Right. So that leaves us with the only logical component, the absence of stress. 

Stress can cause you to hold or “retain” water amongst many other things and now that I had finally released my stress the night before (between dancing, laughing with friends and family, a few adult beverages and being on the most intense life high) I wasn’t experiencing any of the negative side effects I had been dealing with only 24 hours earlier. This was a huge wake up call for me. I was no longer going to let stress impact my life in such a huge way.

But how can it be that easy? Well, it’s not. If it was, I’d have that sh*t mastered by now but it’s something I work at every single day because it’s worth it to me. I’ve seen how just a few changes in my reaction to/perception of things can allow me to have a little less stress and a little more enjoyment out of my life. Mainly for me it was realizing that the stresses will always be there so it’s more about gaining control over my reactions to the stress.

It’s something we’re all capable of and I believe as a whole “we” all ultimately want out of life but how we get “there” will vary like night and day.  If you’re having trouble dealing with stress in your life there are some questions you can ask yourself: What are your “triggers” to stress? Can you do some organizing in your daily tasks to lighten your load? Are you actually taking on too much?

Stress triggers are as unique as we are so you may or may not already know what yours are depending on how well you already know yourself.  I have zero problems admitting that I still learn things about myself all the time. When you do realize that something in particular creates stress in your life you obviously try to avoid it at all costs. But what if this stress is something that’s unavoidable, like bills for instance. HAVE A PLAN.  Know when this stress will take place and know how you will handle it.

If it’s simply day to day issues that have you feeling worn out then take a step back and look at what exactly your daily tasks entail. Stress can come from one major source but the majority of our stress is a culmination of small seemingly unimportant stressful events. Sure, work is unpredictable but you already know that every morning, in addition to work, you need to make yourself breakfast, walk your dogs and somehow get yourself to the gym 3 days out of this work week so plan for it! Take advantage of your coffee pot’s automatic function, make a breakfast sandwich that you can eat on your walk and pack your gym bag the night before so you can’t give yourself an excuse! Whatever your situation is, identify those small mundane tasks and coordinate them in a way that your life flows better so you’re able to deal with the “big stuff” more easily.

But sometimes we are taking on too much.  If you have trouble telling people “no”, you’re a self proclaimed people pleaser, or you think that things are always better off when you handle them than this is most likely a problem in your life. First ask yourself; am I using my waking/productive hours efficiently? If not, start doing that. Now. Cut out the crap that’s not adding anything positive into your life (like the countless hours of FaceBook/Instagram stalking that I know you do) to make room for things that are, like staying in the gym an extra 30 minutes or cooking yourself a homemade lunch for the next day.  Yes, I’m aware that this can all sound a bit cheesy but I promise if you make the extra effort to remove stress from your life, your body will thank you over and over again.

And lastly, the finisher, REALEASING STRESS.  Now that we’ve identified where our stress comes from and are using our time efficiently on things that matter most- what do we do with the stress that’s still there? We get rid of it! It’s my personal belief that stress should be met with equal (or greater) force of release. In other words, your form of release should conduct energy that is as powerful, if not more so, than the stress you’ve experienced. For example, you’ve just watched that horrible Sarah McLachlan commercial and now you feel the immense pressure to save the animal world. Calm yaself, have a good cry (<release of tension) and change the channel. But to alleviate anything from your average nagging stresses to the heartache after a breakup, physical activity can be the best tool to use! 

Personally I prefer to lift weights because of how it makes me feel during and after and obviously a huge added bonus is an aesthetic change (let’s be real here, we’d all be lying if we said that wasn’t one of the most badass aspects) but in terms of physical stress relief, this is only one of many options. Options like kickboxing, cycling and boot camp style workouts (like Crossfit) allow you to work out some tension while using your fellow athletes for encouragement and motivation.  If a more slowed down approach is better for you (whether personal preference or recovering from an injury) then step out of your comfort zone and try a yoga or pilates class where the instructor can give you some one on one attention if you have concerns about your technique. 

Just as we ended last week, whatever you choose make sure you’re staying true to yourself so that you can maintain these changes. We are setting ourselves up for SUCCESS here people!

Go.

Be.

Stress Free :)